Awakening Page 6

  He held out his hand. “Hungry?”

  “Starving,” I said, giving him my hand, which he rested in the crook of his arm.

  “I know a good eatery two blocks down.”

  The streets were alive with people and with the hum of hover transports and cars going every which way. The weather was slightly cool, getting ready to turn into gale season. I pulled my thick wool scarf around my neck, tucking the ends into the collar of my jacket. Tai wore a Protectorate-supplied knee-length gray coat. He pulled his collar tight and stuffed his hands into his pockets, keeping my arm wedged by his side with his elbow.

  A few minutes later, he ushered me into a small and cozy-looking eatery. It was styled like an eighteenth-century pub from Septima One, or the old world. There were only about ten booths in the narrow space, and all of them seemed filled. I was sure we would be in for a long wait but was surprised when a waitress spied Tai and waved him over to an empty table near the back.

  As we settled into our seats, sitting side by side on the wooden bench, the waitress filled our glasses with water while reciting the day’s specials. Tai and I decided on our order quickly.

  “Do you come here a lot?” I asked, wondering at the promptness of our service.

  “Not really,” he said, not looking at me. He was rubbing his thumbs over the etchings on his glass, wiping away condensation as it dripped down its side.

  I fiddled with the napkin on my lap.

  He looked at me. “How are you liking your new job?”

  “It’s really exciting,” I said with a smile. “Gabriel is quite the character, but he knows what he’s doing.”

  He nodded then looked at his glass again.

  I took a deep breath. “How are things at the Protectorate?”

  “Good, good,” he said quickly, but soon he shook his head with a wry smile. “It’s fucking crazy.” He chuckled and I laughed with him, enjoying the slight lift in tension. All too soon, his face shuttered.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I have to arc to Dignitas. I’ll be gone for about a week, starting tomorrow.”

  “Is everything all right?”

  He considered me before responding. “There are rumors of factions organizing themselves throughout the Realm. Not surprisingly, Argon and its supporters aren’t silently accepting their expulsion.” He tensed, taking a deep breath. “There’s trouble coming. I feel it in every fiber of my being.”

  Tai looked down at my hands, which gripped the edge of our table. He gently pulled one toward him and wrapped both of his around it, warming me even as icy fear filled my veins.

  “I’m supposed to go with my team to help investigate the rumors,” he said, “and see if there’s any truth, but the investigation will only prove what we already know.”

  “You could get hurt.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “Positive.”

  He continued to look at me. I could see his mind working, turning things over.

  I sighed. “Tai.”

  “Yes.”

  I gave him a look. He released my hand to take a sip of water. In that moment, I realized that he was nervous. I would have fallen out of my seat if I wasn’t trapped in the corner of the booth between him and the wall. Tai was such an impenetrable force to me. I’d thought he had no vulnerabilities.

  I turned in my seat, bending a knee on the bench to face him directly.

  “Why are we here, Tai?”

  His lips thinned, as he stared at his glass. Finally, he looked at me. “Do you remember when we first met at the Realm Exhibition?”

  How could I ever forget? I nodded.

  “You tripped and almost fell on the way to the arc station.”

  I cringed. “Yes. So I did.” Timeworn humiliation started to creep up my neck.

  “I didn’t reach out to catch you, but I could have. Rhoan helped you, but I was close to you as well. I … I could have caught you.”

  This was not going in the direction I had hoped. I frowned.

  “That bothered me a lot, and now I know why.”

  I gave him a questioning look but held my tongue. He was seemed to be working himself up to something and I didn’t want to interrupt.

  “I was afraid,” he said.

  My eyes widened. “Of what?”

  “You were only sixteen when we met. I’m seven years older than you.”

  “So?”

  His eyes narrowed. “Kira, I’ve wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

  My heart raced. There was a lot there for me to digest. Tai wanted me, but my elation was tempered by the oddness of his disclosure.

  I appreciated it when our waitress returned with our order, laying out the dishes as we sat in silence. By the time she left, I’d decided to home in on the area I figured was troubling him.

  “I wasn’t a minor for long, Tai,” I said quietly. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

  “You’re Rhoan’s sister,” he said as if that answered everything.

  I closed my eyes and turned away, irritation making my moves stiff. “Rhoan? He’s the reason you’ve stayed away, not telling me how you feel?”

  “He’s my closest friend,” he said. “I have respect for your brother.”

  “Respect or fear?” I said in challenge.

  His expression cooled, his jaw firming as he eyed me. “Make no mistake, Kira, it’s respect.”

  “Yet you’re afraid of me?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t say I was afraid of you.”

  I thought about that for a moment.

  “So why are you telling me this now?” I leaned back against the wall with my arms crossed.

  “You’re never not going to be Rhoan’s sister.” He exhaled deeply. “When I came by with news about your uncle, I wanted to hold you, comfort you, and I couldn’t. Not the way I wanted to, because I didn’t have the right. I wanted that right.”

  He made an impatient sound and leaned forward, placing a fist on the table. He wore a deep scowl, as if the weight of the world rested on his broad shoulders. Meanwhile, I admired his profile, wondering why a moment that should have had me shouting from the rooftop was leaving me so dismayed.

  “I’ve been attracted to you since we first met as well,” I whispered.

  After a few moments and without looking at me, he said, “I know.”

  “What?”

  He smirked, glancing at me from the corner of his eye. “You’re an open book, Kira. I’d have to be a halfwit not to notice.”

  Here I’d thought I was being so sly. “And still you said nothing!”

  “Why would I? I loved having you moon over me.”

  “We argued a lot. That is not mooning.”

  “It’s your kind of mooning,” he said with a slow and infuriatingly sexy grin.

  I pursed my lips.

  Tai took my hand again, this time kissing the inside of my wrist. My mouth melted into a smile as his eyes filled with undisguised longing. I studied him, realizing he had been hiding quite a bit of himself from me all this time.

  I flushed. “Well, what now?”

  “I don’t know,” he said, his expression closing up.

  “I think you’re supposed to stake some romantic claim over me,” I offered drily.

  “I respect your brother, Kira.”

  “Yes, I heard you the first time,” I said. “He seems to bring about that feeling in many a man.”

  He narrowed his eyes and I raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

  As I stared at him, I couldn’t help but remark how stunningly attractive he was. Strength, intelligence, selflessness — all wrapped into one breathtaking package. Slowly, my irritation eased. I raised my free hand to run my fingers across his brow, along the curve of his ear, landing at his jaw.

  Tai coughed. At least I thought it was a cough. It dawned on me that he was actually trying to stifle a laugh.

  “What?” I said, d
ropping my hand.

  “That’s the look you’ve been giving me for the past five years.”

  “You beast!” I started to pull away, but he pulled me close again.

  He cupped my cheek with a grin. “I go to sleep and wake up thinking of you, Kira Metallurgist.”

  I studied him, my body thrumming in response to his remark. “Yet you think of me as your best friend’s little sister,” I said.

  His eyes became hooded as he rubbed his thumb across my bottom lip. “That’s the last thing I think of when it comes to you.”

  I searched his face. “Prove it.”

  Tai thinned his lips, a conflict of emotions running rampant through his gaze. After a slow perusal of my face, he leaned forward, inching closer to me. I didn’t close my eyes. I wanted to remember every detail of the moment when Tai finally kissed me.

  As he drew nearer, I caught his spicy, clean, earthy scent and inhaled deeply, trying to capture more of it, desperate to commit his smell to memory for later, when I relived it over and over again. I caught his slight exhalation between my lips when he slanted his mouth over mine for the first time. My heart leapt, exalting that I was finally kissing and touching Tai the way I had only recently allowed myself to even dream about.

  With a sigh, I tangled my fingers into the front of his shirt, pulling him closer, needing to feel him against me and to taste more of his distinctive flavor. Tracing a path with my tongue along his bottom of his lip, I enjoyed a hint of coffee and mint. His lips were full and so unexpectedly soft that I couldn’t help but roll the bottom one between mine, grazing my teeth over it. Tai groaned from a place low and deep.

  Slowly, he slid his hand into my hair, cradling the back of head. He nipped at my lips and my lips opened wider in response. I moaned as he took his time licking into my mouth. Wanting more, I craned my head back, trying to get into a better angle, but the firmness of his grip countered the softness of his kisses. Tai’s fingers pressed into my scalp as he held me where he wanted me. His other hand slid around my waist, pressing me even closer to him.

  I moved my hands, attempting to wrap my arms around him, but it was awkward and tight in the booth. He shifted a bit, allowing me to run a hand up the thick cords of his arm, over his shoulder and into his hair. The blunt locks slid through my fingers as he moved a hand to my breast, my nipples puckering in response to his slow and steady strokes. When I sighed and softened against him, he kissed a path down to my neck. I inhaled deeply, trying to catch my breath.

  “Tai.”

  He continued to kiss my jaw and neck, moving lower still. His hand tightened around my waist, making me arch into him.

  Over the crown of his head, I caught sight of a nearby couple glancing our way. I curled my fingers into his hair and pulled lightly. He groaned and raised his head only to lean in and kiss me once again. We drank from each other’s mouths, lost in the newness and tastes of our anxious kisses.

  After a minute, I managed to pull back a bit and said, “Tai.”

  He simply returned to my lips and licked, tracing a delicious path across them. I gave in, allowing him to take my mouth for a few self-indulgent moments before remembering what I had wanted to say. I pulled at his hair again, none too gently this time. He grunted and I realized that what I was doing was only getting him — us — more excited.

  I turned my face away, finally making him pause.

  “Let’s go to your apartment,” I said, panting now.

  Tai leaned back a bit, his chest puffing as he fought for air. His gaze cleared and became sharp. “No.”

  “No?”

  He shook his head, unwinding his arms from around me, and faced the table.

  I joined him to stare at the platters of our forgotten and now cooled meals. Our waitress returned. Eyeing the untouched food, she asked if there was anything we needed. Tai asked that our meals be packaged for us to take away. She nodded and walked off, but not before sending Tai a look of female appreciation from under her lashes. I pursed my lips, having discovered the reason for our remarkably swift service.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  I thought about Tai constantly over the next week. Even work couldn’t entirely pull my focus in. I felt a knot low in my belly and an ache in my chest every time I thought about how we’d parted after leaving the eatery. We had been stilted in our goodbyes, acting as though moments before we hadn’t been wound tight in each other’s embrace.

  He had messaged me each day since he’d left for Dignitas. Between updates to Rhoan and me about the expulsion and the status of our citizens, he sent me private messages reassuring me of his safety and telling me how much he looked forward to seeing me again. I smiled wryly at those. Finally, I was receiving love notes from Tai, but with his reluctance to fully act on our attraction, they were leaving me frustrated and annoyed.

  Gabriel noticed my despondence and decided it was activity I needed. He sent me on errand after errand between offices on the many floors of our building. The Realm was a very organized system that saw advancement and innovation in all things as a means of survival. So when I started working at the Judiciary, I was surprised to learn that we were required to maintain official documents on paper coated with a special resin, signed by each member of the Realm Council, in vacuum-sealed envelopes kept in various locations throughout the building. As a result, I had to take an elevator to the relevant floor to take notes or make digital copies of the many documents Gabriel and I required.

  I asked Gabriel why we didn’t simply create digital copies of all the files and get rid of the paper files for good. He informed me that anyone could modify electronic documents, so they were only as good as the currency of their time and date stamps. The older the digital file, the less confidence one could have in the accuracy of its information.

  “The Realm trusts no one,” Gabriel had said.

  By the day of our second meeting with the Realm Council delegation, I was in a state of boundless agitation. Tai would be returning the next day and I was anxious to see him, to talk to him, to pick up where we’d left off. Meanwhile, I had work to do, and Gabriel was expecting me to be on standby should he need any of the information we had gathered in preparation for the meeting. I was amped up on a mixture of anxiety and excitement that leaned in either direction depending on the course of my thoughts.

  Then there was Gannon. Since he’d first messaged me, Gannon had been communicating directly with either Theo or Gabriel. I told myself that I didn’t feel slighted, and that it was for the best. I had enough on my plate to worry over. Nevertheless, when Theo announced that the chancellor had arrived for his briefing with Gabriel, I found myself inordinately busy on other floors. I seemed to find free time only at the moment I had to go over to the Prospect Council buildings for the meeting.

  As I settled into my chair behind Gabriel’s designated seat and pulled my tablet from my bag, I glanced around furtively. Gabriel was nowhere to be seen and neither was Gannon — not that I was looking for him. I decided they must be in the process of concluding their briefing and would be on their way. I would read through the research I’d pulled together in preparation for the meeting. However, after a full minute swiping through the tablet in growing dismay, I had to admit defeat. The information wasn’t there.

  I staved off imminent panic. Quickly, I glanced at the time on my comm and felt my stomach flip: the meeting was scheduled to start any moment. Nevertheless, I was thinking about making a run back to the office to upload the information when a commotion just outside the assembly-room doors announced the delegation’s arrival. With no time to go back to the Judiciary, I forced myself to think logically. It would be all right. I had sent the information to Gabriel. As soon as he settled in, I would simply borrow his tablet and copy it to my device.

  Finally, Gabriel entered the room, following closely by Gannon and two protectors. Despite my dilemma, my heart skipped a beat when Gannon’s gaze found mine. He strode toward the table with focused intent and took his seat directly
across from my section of the room, releasing me from his quiet regard only when he was consulted by a fellow senator.

  “Hello, young Metallurgist,” Gabriel said. His dark brown hair had a cobalt streak that fanned out from his right temple. He was entering a code to operate his monitor when I asked to borrow his tablet.

  Gabriel must have sensed my urgency, because he handed it over with only a slightly inquiring look. As soon as I got my hands on it, I started tapping at folders. With every one that opened, my anxiety ratcheted up a notch. Finally, I ran a search, hoping that it would locate the information faster than my random guesses.

  As my fingers swiped rapidly across the screen, I sensed someone watching me. I lifted my gaze to find Gannon staring at me with an unreadable expression that I didn’t have time to decipher. I frowned and returned to my task.

  With a spike of triumph, I located the correct folder, but the victory was fleeting.

  Shit.

  Following a preparation meeting the day before, Gabriel had asked me to update his device. I’d intended to do it that morning. Instead, I had been wandering the halls of the Judiciary and had completely forgotten. I clenched my fist, shoving the crescents of my nails into my palms in punishment.

  I thought quickly. I could message Theo and ask him to send the files to me, but he would have to access my computer, and the only way to do that was by entering a fingerprint scan. That wouldn’t work.

  “Gabriel,” I whispered. He faced me, raising a perfectly shaped brow. “I have to go back to the Judiciary.” I explained the problem, my cheeks heating at my show of complete novice.

  “Minister, is everything all right?” Gannon inquired, but he was looking at me.

  “Yes, Chancellor,” Gabriel responded before turning to me again. “The agenda calls for an intermission. We won’t be discussing the related topic until after that. You can go back to the Judiciary during the break.”