Awakening Read online

  Our sovereign was in her thirties, very young, but her eyes reflected an immense and quickly gained wisdom. Resplendent in the purple and black uniform of the Elite caste, she was quietly beautiful, with pale blond hair and soft brown eyes. While simple, the cut and quality of the fabric spoke to the prestige of her position. Of course, nothing could speak more to her rank than the headdress she wore. It was a gold and silver bird’s-nest design that was meant to mimic the orbital rings around the interconnected worlds of the Realm. Diamonds were placed strategically in multiple spots along each of the rings so that light caught from every direction, giving off a halo effect.

  I was riveted, but not because of how she looked or even by what she was saying. It was the impact she had on the audience. Despite her quiet bearing, she held a thousand or more of us captive. I believed she could have told us anything in that moment and we would have followed without hesitation. She held such power and influence that even Tai, a fierce warrior, was spellbound.

  As I looked on the faces of my fellow citizens, something fierce and deep took root inside me. It was a question that had teased my mind ever more frequently through the years. My family and the Realm had great influence over my role within our worlds, in effect determining who I would become. But what was my responsibility?

  As I listened to the Corona end her speech, I felt nearly suffocated by the idea that I would be expected to simply wait for my future to unfold, revealing clues and signposts that would show which path to take. For a few moments after she left the podium, while my family readied themselves to leave the space, I sat lost in my thoughts, wondering whether I could chart my own course, determine my own future.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Five years later.

  “You’re a fucking goddess.” He caressed my thigh as I ground down hard on top of him, his cock long and deep inside me.

  “Yes, yes, yes,” I whispered, reaching for that elusive feeling that was once again slipping away.

  He leaned up to kiss my neck and molded my breasts, paying homage to my body with soft, sweet words.

  It should have had me panting, but it was leaving me cold.

  “No, damn it!” I pounded a fist on the bed, allowing my head to drop between my arms.

  “Shit. Don’t tell me you want to stop.”

  I’d thought it was going to work this time, but not even Lukas Merchant was going to tip me over the edge.

  I opened my eyes to look down at him. “I can’t do this,” I said with a heavy sigh.

  “Fuck. Kira, did I hurt you?” Lukas asked as I crawled off him, looking around for bits of my clothing. He immediately started to right his pants.

  I shook my head in response as I stood in the middle of the room. Lukas took one look at my expression and reached to give me a hug.

  When Lukas did things like that, showed me compassion and support even while I showed my other side of crazy, I knew something was wrong with me. Since Lukas and I had met at Primary Academy, we had been seeing each other here and there. We were supposed to be in off mode, but lonely nights and stressful final evaluations could turn any rejected coin into a valuable one.

  As he bent to collect his shirt from the ground, I stole a glance at my comm and became alarmed by how late in the day it was. Rhoan would be back at any time, expecting me to be ready to head over to our parents’ home.

  That evening, I was to be celebrated for graduating at the top of my class, turning twenty-one and accepting an entry-level position at Prospect Eight’s Judiciary, our world’s legal arm — all achievements earned within the last month. I was looking forward to the event. It meant more than an excuse to overindulge in food and drink with family and friends. It was a rite of passage. If a person is the conclusion of decisions in life, then up to this point I was a collection of my parents’ choices.

  I heard the familiar ping of my comm, signaling a message.

  “My brother’s here,” I said, quickly pulling on my panties and pants at the same time. I prepared myself for the inevitable whirlwind of high anxiety —not mine, but Lukas’s.

  Lukas stopped mid-stride on the way to my small bathroom. He spun around and grabbed his remaining strewn belongings. Duffel bag, shoes and comm were put on just as hastily as they’d been divested only minutes before. I crossed my arms and rested a hip against the doorjamb, watching Lukas do an unintended pirouette in the middle of my room as he tried to locate the last of his many items. He tripped over my bag and stumbled toward his tablet, immediately rolling up the flexible device into its portable scroll-like shape.

  Lukas held it up in triumph with a silly smile. I shook my head as he ambled over to me and threw an arm around my shoulders. “Maybe next time?” He winked, affecting an over-the-top seductive grin.

  I had to smile at that, but there wouldn’t be a next time. I had to find a new fix. I’d lost my virginity four years earlier, but since then, while enjoyable, sex hadn’t been all that wondrous with any of my four partners. At some point, I had to stop trying different flavors, because they were all leaving me with the same bitter taste.

  Ducking my head, I busied myself with buttoning up my shirt. One of the buttons was missing, a casualty of our anticlimactic encounter. I glanced up to give Lukas what I intended as a hopeful smile, but it felt more like an apology on my lips than anything else.

  “Come on. I’ll let you out,” I said.

  We entered the main sitting area the same time as the front door slid open. As was customary, Rhoan strode in, disengaged the door to close it, threw his duffel bag on the floor and headed straight to our cooler to forage.

  One of the first things I had done after my twenty-first birthday was to move in with Rhoan. It was a declaration of my independence. I didn’t know why I’d thought moving in with my brother was a good idea. He had the capacity to eat massive amounts of food yet was not keen on buying or cooking any of it. I wondered how he’d existed before I came along. At first, Rhoan had been apprehensive about having his sister live with him, but I was getting the sense that my ability to clean, cook and shop was making me look more and more like a win to him.

  “Why, hello, Lukas and Kira. It’s so nice to see you. How was your day?” I took on an outlandishly formal and deep voice. “That’s what normal people say when they come home and see company,” I added, reprimanding my brother. As expected, my words fell on deaf ears.

  I looked to Lukas to offer an apology on behalf of my tactless kin when I noticed he had frozen like one of those sculptures in those old books Ma loved to pull out on significant religious holidays. Lukas was staring at my brother with a mixture of admiration and fear. It leaned much too far toward the latter.

  And therein laid much of the problem.

  Lukas, while sweet and perfect, as so many of my friends concurred, was scared shitless of my brother. Like all my past partners, he had a healthy fear of one Rhoan Advocator.

  While I’d been gaining higher education and becoming sexually liberated, Rhoan had completed his advanced training. Having achieved the highest level of education in governance, his last name had been changed to Advocator, a name that would be his for the rest of his life or until he applied for a change in profession. Following graduation, as expected, he was quickly appointed subordinate representative for our region and worked at the Prospect Eight Advocacy, our governance arm. Accomplished or not, he was still an annoying, eating machine of an older brother.

  I watched as Rhoan proceeded to inhale most of our limited food supply within a few minutes of having arrived. He sat at our small table, feet propped up, and tapped out a message on his tablet.

  What self-respecting person could be intimidated by this fool?

  I turned to Lukas to find him still caught in an odd state between man crush and abject fear. Apparently, Lukas Merchant was that person.

  I snapped my fingers in front of Lukas’s face to catch his attention. He offered a contrite smile and mumbled something indecipherable as I shuffled him out.

/>   “Rhoan, would you please not put your feet where we eat?” I shoved his boots as I stalked into the kitchen to clean up the wake of his food annihilation.

  Rhoan tilted his head toward the door, still typing out his message. “Angus still hanging around, huh?”

  I rolled my eyes. I didn’t bother to correct him. He very well knew his name was Lukas.

  Rhoan snorted, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “You ready to go?” He eyed my very casual outfit, eyes narrowing as they snagged on the missing button.

  “I was just about to get dressed.” I turned to prevent him from studying me too closely and tapped in a code on my comm to activate our wall-to-wall monitor in the sitting area. “Watch something. I’ll be ready in a minute.”

  I was in the middle of deciding between a skirt and pants when I heard Rhoan call my name. Panic lit his voice, shooting shards of fear through me. I dragged on the skirt and ran out of my room.

  I found him standing stock still in the middle of the room. I followed his line of sight to see a newsfeed running on the monitor. With growing dread, Rhoan and I learned that during a private meeting, just concluded, the Realm Council had, after confirming the dominion’s involvement in exploration and interaction with rogue worlds, struck a motion to expel Argon.

  Over four hundred years ago, soon after the creation of arc travel, our founding guardians had established the Realm’s governance and law. By that time, our technological advancement in exploration had led to the discovery of multiple new worlds and to a call for federation under one system. Unfortunately, not all worlds agreed to unify. Those other worlds were categorized as “rogue” and deemed part of the Outer Realm, their people cut off from arc access into our system and considered exiles.

  For many years after our system was established, the Council permitted limited travel between worlds, whether rogue or not, until Septima One, formerly known as Earth, was attacked. The story goes that Septima One citizens had traveled to a rogue world and been held hostage by a group of exiles. While the arc station was still engaged, the exiles went to Septima One and used their weaponry to wipe out all of our citizens. All exploration had been banned ever since.

  In my periphery, Rhoan turned to speak into his comm. “I just heard. Shit, what does this mean for Prospect, for the Realm?” Rhoan suddenly spun back to me, his eyes wide. “Uncle Khelan.”

  I gasped, realizing the tragic impact this news would have on him. Though his only living relatives, my Aunt Marah and her family, lived close by on our world, Argon was still his home.

  I started to engage my comm then realized I had taken it off as I was getting dressed. I ran to collect it and immediately tried to patch through to him, but the line didn’t connect. After three more attempts, it was clear that I wouldn’t have any success.

  “The lines are jammed. My line just dropped.” Rhoan ran a hand through his hair. “This is unbelievable. Just last week we were speaking with visiting Argon citizens about loosening trade restrictions.”

  We watched as footage of various Argon citizens of every caste were hounded for their opinion on the decision. They looked dazed.

  “Turn up the volume, Rhoan.”

  The Corona was now displayed on the monitor. I moved closer to the screen just as she positioned herself behind a podium in the main hall of the Realm Council building, a familiar yet now forbidding setting.

  “Citizens,” she began. “The Realm Council took a most significant action today, one that has not been made in our long history of governance and law. We have learned through investigation that Argon dominion has been engaging in unauthorized arc travel to the Outer Realm.

  “There is much beyond our system that we have yet to understand and discover. But it is the unknown that is our enemy. We must put the needs of the Realm and our citizens first and adhere to the rules put in place by our system. To go around such protective measures means putting our citizens at risk, leaving our families and children vulnerable. This disregard for our collective futures cannot go without being punished. Therefore, effective immediately, the seven worlds of Argon dominion are considered rogue and its peoples exiled to the Outer Realm.

  “While this decision is unsettling, it is not unprecedented. Years ago, the Realm suffered such deception by one of our own. Nevertheless, we survived. And we will survive again. Our system was established to address such dissension. It will go on, and it will thrive. I ask you to strengthen your resolve and heed the Realm.”

  “Bullshit,” Rhoan said, turning off the monitor. “Dissension goes against the very foundation the Realm is built on.”

  I ran to collect my shoes and jacket from my room.

  “Let’s go,” I said as I returned, shrugging into my jacket. “Everyone should be at home by now. We can speak with Uncle there.”

  * * *

  We heard him before we saw him. Emotion, raw and insistent, threaded through each of his words. Rhoan and I looked at each other as we entered our family’s sitting area, my brother’s wariness and remorse surely mirrored in my own gaze.

  “This is madness!” Uncle Khelan’s stance radiated defiance as he faced the monitors in the sitting area, an audience of our closest family and friends surrounding him. Da stood directly behind him with arms crossed, Ma to his right. She was gripping Uncle’s arm with both hands. “Expel those who were involved in the corruption,” Uncle Khelan said. “Not my family, who have done nothing but contribute to this fucking system!”

  A woman I knew well was displayed on the monitor. Her cheeks were wet with tears as she hugged a small child. Aunt Marah, Uncle Khelan’s younger sister, handed her two-year-old daughter to her partner.

  “There’s nothing for it, Khelan,” she said. “We’ve been told that we should report to an arc station with our official status papers tomorrow afternoon.”

  “You will not go to that arc station tomorrow, Marah!” Uncle Khelan roared. “You stay put. We’ll come get you, Paol and Adria.”

  “No,” Uncle Paol said, his face set. “That would endanger you and your family. Let’s not jump to conclusions. The message said that they only want to check our papers.”

  “You would put your faith in a message sent surreptitiously by the Realm?” Uncle Khelan spat. “It’s the future of my sister and niece you’re playing with!”

  “Because you’re as angry as we all are, I will forgive you that remark.” Uncle Paol bit out. “Until we know more, we’ll follow the direction of the Realm. Should they wish to expel us to the Outer Realm, rest assured that your anger will come in handy when I raze the system to protect my own.”

  A hush gripped the room.

  Da rested a hand on Uncle Khelan’s shoulder, stepping forward with a grim look of resolve. “Know that you will have our full support, Paol,” he said as Uncle scrubbed his hands over his face.

  “There was never any doubt,” Uncle Paol said, and disconnected.

  Immediately, the room erupted in fervent discussion. Ma’s quiet voice broke through the din.

  “What does this mean for you, Khelan?”

  The bottom of my stomach fell out. Rhoan slanted an uneasy look my way.

  Ma shook her head, as if in denial. “They can’t take you from us,” she said.

  Uncle turned to face her and held her face in his palms. “You know as well as I do that the Realm can’t keep me away from my family,” he said, his expression fierce.

  Da approached Ma and pulled her into his arms, where she succumbed to tears. Only then did Uncle finally look in Rhoan’s and my direction. We rushed forward and hugged him as best as we could with both of us wrapped around him. Although he wasn’t truly related to us, Uncle Khelan and his sister were part of our family, and our family was being pulled apart.

  * * *

  I needed a moment to myself.

  The anxiety in our family home had picked up even more since the newsfeed had started reporting what we already knew: that many Argon citizens had received private messages directing them to go
to the nearest arc station with family in tow and armed with their status papers. Our only tenuous comfort was that Uncle Khelan had not received such a message. At least, not yet.

  The celebration had turned into a moratorium, all of us stalled and waiting for some definitive word on my uncle’s fate. When I left the sitting room, Ma, Da and Uncle Khelan were huddled deep in conversation with some of our family and friends. I hadn’t seen Rhoan for almost an hour now. He had been in and out, in constant communication with whoever was on the opposite end of his comm. I had nothing to offer by way of optimism, so I sought refuge in the study, where I’d frequently gone when I needed comfort during my childhood.

  A journal had been left open on my father’s desk. Recognizing the tight characters of his handwritten letters, I went over to it. Like everyone else, Da had a tablet, but at times he preferred to use ink rather than a device to communicate his thoughts. I fingered the pages reverently.

  I remembered many evenings in this room, reporting my grades or confessing to some Ma-deemed infraction. A photo of our family stood on the desk. It displayed Ma, Da, Uncle Khelan, Rhoan and me, beaming with pride at my brother’s graduation two years ago. I plucked the picture off the desk and sank to the floor.

  “There you are.”

  I looked up as Sela walked through the door.

  Over the years, Sela and I had remained the closest of friends even though we’d taken different paths. During our time at Primary Academy, she had pursued health while I ventured toward law. She was now Sela Medic, having taken on her new caste name. A year ago she’d partnered with Derek Lecturer, a man she’d been in love with since forever.

  Sela sat beside me on the floor and we looked at the picture together in silent companionship.

  I glanced at her. “How’s Derek?”

  “He’s well.” She curled a lock of her auburn hair around an ear and folded her legs under her. “I just spoke with him. He’s very sorry he can’t be here, especially considering all that’s going on.”